Juggling Being a Crier and a Mommy

I am a crier. Being in control of my tear ducts is not one of my strengths. Although this was not helped by pregnancy hormones, I was a crier long before I was pregnant and I still am.
I don’t just cry when I am sad. I’ve also been known to cry when I’m angry. This was confusing for my friends as a child. I nearly backhanded more than one poor girl who tried to comfort me while I was furious.
But that’s not all. I cry when I’m worn out and stressed too. Often pretty easily. This has sometimes very awkward. I have made many doctors (and 1 dentist) feel confused and perhaps even a little uncomfortable when they have just told me I am fine. And probably just have a viral infection or I need some antibiotics (with the dentist I had a cavity). At any rate I was given information that is completely minor in severity and I am reduced to tears.
I even cried in the front row of a 10 person University class with a disproportionately high workload when we were unable to persuade the professor that we needed an extension for our 30 page paper because it would throw off his schedule. Looking at this, you might think that I cry all the time. And although that is not actually true I do end up crying in front of my son and my handicapped brother more often than I would really like.
I actually think that it’s good for kids to see their parents have emotions and deal with them. I just wish my son didn’t have to have this valuable learning experience quite so often.
Because of my brother I’ve had to deal with this issue for a long time. It causes him distress to see anyone, but especially me, upset. So I am well practiced in the art of crying while assuring someone else that everything is still okay.
Usually what I say is “I’m feeling sad. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. But I’m okay. I’m just feeling sad right now.” If I can explain why, then try to do that too, but that’s not always easy.
I’d love to know about some other strategies that I could use. What do you do when you cry in front of your kids?

Mother’s Day–Not Every Special Day is Going to be a Good Day

I don’t actually mind the so called ‘Hallmark’ holidays. Having a day to remind you to stop and appreciate your significant other, mother, father what have you, is overall I think a good thing. However, I do sympathize with those who dislike such holidays. It can put a lot of pressure on one day and it can be easy for many to feel left out.

For me, this mother’s day was… I can’t think of the right word, so perhaps I’ll just explain. When I woke up, I just wasn’t feeling well. I had a huge headache and was so emotionally fragile I wouldn’t be surprised if I made people wonder if I was pregnant. I recognized that I was grumpy, irritable and emotional, but sometimes having this level of introspection gets you no closer to being able to control these feelings.

That is not a good start. On top of that, my only child is 2. He doesn’t have a clue about what mother’s day is about. My husband, has many wonderful qualities but he is not likely to help my son do cute mother’s day crafts or anything or tell me just to put my feet up all day. Which really, I respect. I’m not his mother and he has his own mother he needs to try to make feel special that day.

So really it was just a day, and not a very good one. I didn’t even do a very good job of making my mother feel appreciated.

Now really, the day was fine. Gordie was an angel, my husband gave me a rose, and both our families had a lovely dinner together. And that is plenty to feel grateful for.

But in the end, it is just a day, and if it ends up being a bad or disappointing day it doesn’t matter. It’s just one day. Days like these are great opportunities to reflect on the important people who are or who have been in our lives but it’s best not to ascribe them too much meaning. All the other 354 days of the year are just as important. And overall? Those have been great.

Weekly Meal Plan–May 9-13

This Week’s Meal Plan

Monday – Lentils and Ground Beef Burritos
Tuesday – Cranberry Turkey Burgers
Wednesday –  Tuna Melts
Thursday – Banana and Chicken Fried Rice Recipe
Friday – Beef Stew  

 

Last Week’s Meal Plan

Monday – BLT sandwiches
Tuesday – Chicken Salad Sandwiches from Cook This not That!
Wednesday – Lentils and Ground Beef Burritos
Thursday – Salsa Pasta Salad
Friday – Tuna Salad Melts 

As predicated, last week was a disaster. We ate out a lot. I’m still glad I menu planned though. I used the Salsa Pasta salad for lunch on Thursday and supper for the family on Friday while I was at a MomsFest blogger meet-up. Gordie and I had the chicken salad sandwiches for lunch a couple days too.

What We Actually Ate

Monday – Bacon, Hummus and Cheese Sandwiches
Tuesday – Swiss Chalet
Wednesday – Pizza
Thursday – Wendy’s
Friday – Salsa Pasta Salad

 

Eating Out for 400 Calories or Less: Swiss Chalet

We don’t eat out at Swiss Chalet that often but now and again it’s a really nice change. I have to admit, that I cheated with my meal there. It’s over 400 calories. But not by much. And aside from being a little high in sodium I think it’s a pretty solid meal so I don’t mind spending a little extra calories.

Was it good? Was it satisfying? It’s a pretty simple meal, but it was more food than I could eat which is nice for a change.

Special Instructions:White meat chicken
Subtractions/Additions: You need to not eat the skin if you want to keep the calories down.
Substitutions: I got fresh veggies instead of the fries. I got corn instead of the bun, which put me over on the calories by a little bit (405 with the bun vs 435 with the corn).

Quarter Chicken Dinner (white meat with fresh veggies, corn and chalet sauce): Calories – 435, Carbs – 46 (10g sugar), Fat – 7.9g (sat. – 2.3g, trans – 0.1g), Sodium –1155, Protein – 52.3g, Fibre – 10g.

If you had the dinner roll instead of the corn, the calories would be 405.

A Quick Trip to Banff

With my special needs brother off to Disneyland with my in-laws (are they the best or what?) we can uncommon opportunity to take a day trip to Banff. When we mapped it out, we realized we weren’t going to have a lot of time. We wouldn’t be able to leave Calgary until noon and would have to get back the next day by noon. We almost decided not to go. But I’m really glad we did. One of the things that’s so great about going away, even if it is just for a little while is that is really focuses your attention. You’re not distracted by the laundry or the internet. You don’t have to cook. And you have adventures together which is harder at home.

We went up Mount Norquay where they is a great view of the town of Banff and you can often see some mountain goats. We saw some this time at the bottom of the lookout point but they were too far away for Gordie to figure out what they were. On our way back down we drove past a deer. Gordie saw it all by himself. “I see a kangaroo!” We may need to spend a little bit more of our time at the North American part of the zoo.

In the evening we drove down by the golf course and saw a lot more “kangaroos” (this time they were elk). The boy is not easily dissuaded.  This was the perfect time of day for elk watching. We also saw a little fox. Of course we had left our zoom lens at the hotel.

We went to Melissa’s for supper. Gordie really wanted a burger and fries. He was getting a little impatient for his dinner (quite honestly when we eat out we usually get fast food so waiting would be unusual) so I told him that when the lady came back he could tell her what he wanted for supper. While Stephen and I were talking Gordie (who has just turned 2) managed to turn around at get to attention of the hostess. We looked over and he was telling her he wanted a burger and fries and she was leaned over trying to understand him. We were so surprised!

Sometimes with so much going on, it’s hard to take the time to step back, relax and just enjoy each others company. But so many of my most treasured memories seem to be created that way.

Wordless Wednesday

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BBQ Chicken Enchiladas

I decided to try out this Enchilada recipe from Feels Like Home for my brother’s birthday dinner. I’m pretty sure the best time to try out a new recipe is at a special occasion for a bunch of people right? Normally we would get take out, but we still haven’t found a chinese food place we like in our neighbourhood and half the family finds Indian too spicy. At the last minute I decided I’d just make these Enchiladas.  Ill-advised or not, it was awesome.

I dialled back the spices from the original recipe to accommodate our family heat wimps. They found it to be spicy but at a level they (and Gordie) could easily handle. If you are looking for something spicy, you’ll want to amp up the spices, but it’s nice and flavorful (if not hot) as written below).

I made my own Enchilada sauce which allows me to control the level of spice and fat but you could easily use the bottled stuff instead.

Enchilada Sauce Recipe
(adapted from Feels Like Home)

• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 3 tablespoons flour
• 1.5 tablespoons chili powder
• 1 16-oz can tomato sauce
• chicken broth
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• salt

1. Add the oil to a pan over medium heat. When the oil is hot, stir in the flour and chili powder. Use a whisk (this will help prevent lumps in your sauce) to stir constantly under it starts to brown (a minute or two)
2. Continue to stir as you add the remaining ingredients. Cook until sauce begins to thicken – about 10 minutes. If you are wanting to speed things up you can bring the sauce to a boil for a minute or two and the sauce will thicken a bit quicker.

BBQ Enchilada Recipe
(adapted from Feels Like Home)

• 1/2 cup BBQ sauce (plus 2 tbsp) (I used Kraft original)
• meat from 1 roasted chicken or 1.5 pounds of boneless chicken, cooked and shredded
• 1 medium  onion, chopped
• 2 cup of shredded cheese 
• 8 whole wheat tortillas (I have also managed 10, but 8 is more reasonable)

1. Preheat oven to 375F.
2. Add the BBQ sauce to the enchilada sauce and stir.
3. Add a little oil to a second pan and saute the chopped onion until it softens. Add the chicken, and a couple tablespoons of the BBQ sauce. Cook for a couple more minutes and then add 1/2 a cup of the enchilada sauce and 1 cup of the shredded cheese. Mix well and cook until the cheese is melted.
4. Add a layer of the enchilada sauce to a 9x13 baking dish.
5. Add a big scoop of the chicken mixture to a tortilla, and roll it. Place it in the baking dish seam side down. Continue until all your tortillas have been filled. If you are running out of space it is totally okay to squish your tortillas together so you can fit more in.
6. Pour the rest of the enchilada sauce over the rolled tortillas and top with the last cup of cheese.  
7. Bake for about 25 minutes. The cheese and sauce should be hot and bubbly.

So, Did They Eat It?

This was a huge hit. I served this with a fried rice and a black bean salad to 11 people. I cut each of the enchiladas in half so it was easier for people to take just how much they wanted. Everyone from my toddler to my grandparents and my spice sensitive inlaws  enjoyed it. The BBQ sauce really helps give it some extra flavor without the extra heat. I will be making this again for sure, although I may add some extra chili powder if it’s just for us.